Read the article "Personal Relationships in the Not-So-Good Old Days," on pp. 163-165, and answer TWO out of the three the following questions.
(Ileana, Vero, Lin, Kyoung, and Fatimah do not have to answer these questions but are welcome to if they so choose since the topic is so interesting.)
1. The author writes that "when wives beat their husbands, it was the husband, not the wife, who was likely to be punished... He had shamed the village by not controlling his wife properly." Do you think there are still men today who feel they are supposed to "control" their wives? Explain.
2. In paragraph 7, Stark states that in the traditional family "the primary unit of society and attachment was not the family but the peer group." Does this statement apply at all to society today? At which stages or in what situations might people today feel closer to their peers than to their family members?
3. The author writes, "Only in modern times have most people married for love." Do you think love is the only thing people consider today when choosing a mate? What other factors might be important to consider when selecting a potential life partner?
1.None. Nowadays people should should their repect to everyone. Of course, it includes their wives. In addition, a good relationship between husbands and wives is good for families.
ReplyDelete2. I think so. People today also have parties for the peer group. A easy example, is it possible that you invited by Bill Gates to his charities? It's impossible. Therefore, this statement apply to society today.
3.Most people married for love, but there are a few are not. In my opinion, the habbits should be considered because two different style couple may have trouble in their daily lives.
1.My answer is No. The reason is that nowadays, woman's right has grown stronger than before. Women believe that they also have the right to make decision not just in the work, but also in the family. And they do have one, because one person can't complete the family, needs husband and wife to complete it.
ReplyDelete2.(1)I don't think so. I believe that people become families, and then families become society.
(2)Usually, people will feel closer to their family rather than peers. However, if people have some relationship problem in their families, peers might be the first one that people will go to.
3.I don't believe that LOVE will be the only reason to make people get married. For example, as a high school student, he good at sport, and girls liked him. Then, he had a wonderful love when he was in university. However, after he graduated from university, the couple still be together, but with the long time of hard working, the man still can't afford to but house, car, or other things. The pressure force the young couple to break up. Therefore, I believe that MONEY will be another reason for modern people to get married.
ReplyDelete2. I'm so surprised to know that family is not the primary unit of society and attachment. However, it was congruent with the poor family's relationship both between husband and wife and bonding between parents and their children as the author mentioned in the prior paragraphs.
This can't be apply to today's society, since family in today's society has closer relationship than it was in the traditional society. Children have strong bonding with their parents. These statement will explain the developmental stage of adolescence. This stage of life, the adolescence has strong bonding with their peer as they need to develop self-esteem, or to be independent.
3. Love is essential in choosing a partner but it is not the only necessary points. It will be the first important factor for two persons to spend time in learning each other. People usually says only love is not enough to decide to marry with someone. There are many reasons that the partner decide to change their relation to be friend, such as cultural gap, attitudes, and economic problem. "We are different" is the important reasons the lover said when they decided to separate.
1. i think now days there are only few men that still think that he has the complete control. however, the women now have rights that protect her. as a result, the women can share the control with the man. in my opinion, sharing control will lead to a happy family because the problems will decrease.
ReplyDelete2.i think love is one of the important factors in choosing a meet.but i think that economical issues are the most important thing. for example, the man should be able to give the primary things to his family or they will be in a bad situation. so thats why i think that economical issues are important.
1. I believe that there are still men today who still think that their wives should be under their grasp. Because there are many countries which are still influenced by the old societies in which men have more power over women. In addition, a society is a combination of many kinds of persons; therefore, this thinking is, perhaps, available in retrospect persons.
ReplyDelete2. In my opinion, this statement does not apply to all societies today. In some Socialist countries such as Vietnam, their philosophy is to consider families to be the cells of a society. Moreover, a family may be better in stimulating a small society than a peer because it has the function of production as well as the variety of genders.
3. In my perspective, love isn’t the only thing people consider to chose mates nowadays because it’s just a factor. In order for two persons to be long mates, they should physically and mentally provide each others; and, love is just one single mental factor. In my opinion, when choosing partners for marriage, one should consider both physical and mental factors such as financial ability, legibility, health or trust of each others.
1.Absolutely not. Today the equality of the sexes is becoming more and more obvious, which not only reflect in the work, but also in the family life, especially in the relationship between husband and wife. The opinion about men are suppose to "control" their wives and families has become a history. In the present relationship between husband and wife, both sides realized that they are all equal and they should respect other side. So I think this inherent opinion is no more exist. In fact, in the real life, usually, the "control" problem is more depend on their personalities.
ReplyDelete2.I think this statement apply at all to society today. People usually live in groups. The social circle is around the peer group. This way, people tend to find their couple from this social circle. Life is not a movie, not everyone could give up all he/she has and get married with one who come from a totally different group. Since even the composition of family is more depend on the peer group, so the society is also.
3.I think obviously love is the first consideration that most of us will think about, however it is definitely not the only one. Love is a kind of "irrational emotion", but for marriage, only love is not enough. Since marriage means that we are suppose to live together for a long time, we should be more rational when we think about it. The character is appropriate or not is also a serious consideration.
1.- I think nowadays, there still are a few men who think that they should have the control of their wives as they should have of their families, but it seems to be more a cultural issue than a time one, because I don't believe that kind of thoughts have disappeared completely. However, these days is harder for men to control women as a result of the new generations who have taken place into the society as equal as men do.
ReplyDelete3.- Well I think love is the first thing that people take into account to start a relationship with somebody, but of course, there are another important things to consider when people is choosing a mate such as values, personality and thoughts shared. Love is fundamental and vital for a relationship, but if we don't have the sufficient empathy with the other person, love could be not enough to have a strong, healthy and long relationship.
1. I think very rare group of men who still thinking about complete control on their wives . the relationship between wife and husband today is based on sharing , they both share the responsiblities and likewise the control . Men can't have the total control in the style of the old days because women of today refuse it and don't accept it .
ReplyDelete2. I think there is no fixed rule about relationships today . It depends . some peaple have many problems with their families so they tend to have strong friendships outside the families . some people put their families in the first place . many factors affect the single's relationships include standard of living , awareness of parents and so on .
3. no I don't think it's just the love . may be teenagers looks for only love , but , most mature adults looks for many things in their partener such as education level , financial level , awareness and of course beside love but some times not .
1. Nowadays, there are only few men who want to control their wives because the norms of the society have been changing over the time. For example, unlike the past, the right between male and female tends to be more equal. Men care more about the feeling of their partners. And, people want to have successful marriage lives.
ReplyDelete3. Only love cannot make couples have successful marriage lives. Couples should consider about other factors, such as money, career, and lifestyle. Without good enough financial status, life after getting married tends to be difficult because each person needs to support one another. Second, if couples can rarely see each other’s face due to the different work schedules, their relationships may be deteriorated and withered. Finally, if the lifestyles of husbands and wives are different and impossible to compromise, divorce may be the only solution.